Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
My legs feel like baby dolphins
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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