Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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