Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
