I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
