We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize