So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
