i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize