I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
