she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I have feelings that need drinking.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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