Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
