You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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