I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
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i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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