I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
They have beer where we have blood.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
