Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
