they need to just BURY HIM!
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
