also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
