i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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