Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
