how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
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He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
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