I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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