You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
