I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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