What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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