Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
