just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
