im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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