he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
