You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
