Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize