i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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