I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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