A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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