What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
