you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
