I just pynch a tree in the face
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Randomize
