I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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