Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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