He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
