I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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