Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
My ass is underappreciated
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
