He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
dude i'm inner monologue high
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
