Christians are straight up FREAKS
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
