I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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