Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
