I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
