the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
