I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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