Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
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Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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