meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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