why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Randomize
