i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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