i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
