I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
