i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize