Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
