On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
