She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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