this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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