absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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