Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
