Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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