youre lurking in front of me
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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