What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
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Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
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Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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