just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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