Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
