I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
