maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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